I always made new year resolutions as a child. Never fulfilled them. When I was 17, I decided to keep resolutions about things I already did but wanted to change. I said I will clutter. Somehow that year the awareness but nothing pressuring me to reduce helped me reduce the clutter in my life.
I think it was when I fell in love and reached the “Happy state” in my life that I stopped thinking of resolutions and clutter. After that marriage, job, kids took away whatever time. This year, after maybe 10 years, I want to keep new year resolutions.
I am not perfect, neither do I want to be. But I want to be more aware of the mistakes I make in the different roles I play – Wife, mom, employee, employer, sister, daughter, friend, myself. With hindsight, I am aware of the mistakes I have made this past year in each and every role I play. But I want to be aware of things that happen when they do and not rely on hindsight alone. I often know what I need to change in my life, but because of an inherent inertia, sometimes – lack of control on my mind at other times , I don’t take action. I drift and I regret. I want to be more mindful of my behavior and actions.
While, the me in me has surfaced after a long time and is fighting for attention. My spiritual and personal growth suddenly feels more important to me that other things. But I should not forget my responsibilities in life. Nothing in life can be at the cost of another aspect of you. I have to find my perfect balance. I have learnt and I need to apply, my responsibilities and me are not two different beings but they are both a part of me. For 10 years, I have ignored me for my responsibilities (which included a lot of fun with friends). Last 2 months I have ignored my responsibilities for ‘me’. I have realized neither of the two things alone, find me happiness. Luckily, people around me helped me realize this fairly early. And I have started taking corrective action , I need that to continue and stabilize the new year.
Give. Since I have started working, Giving has meant giving money to me. In 2012, Along with me I want to give more of me to society. With money I have learnt, giving never leaves you short.
In a nutshell 2012 would be the year where I would
Love more unconditionally, give and not count, think and then do, cheer more completely, smile more wholly, laugh with tears, hug everyone I love more tight, Dream more daringly!